Aug. 9th, 2010 02:48 am
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Because it was never enough to impress her. Is why. Started thinking of me as a genius when I learned "pantophobia" from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special at what must have been 27 months and from that day to this every single thing I've ever done she has been waiting for me to do better.

Nigel is right. I do have a complex because my parents think I'm a genius. Only it's not that I have this chip on my shoulder that he thinks I have, that I think I'm so much better than other people that nothing but perfection is good enough for me.

It's that perfection was never enough to make her proud. Not like she was of my sister's Bs and Cs. Holy shit.

All this having come to mind because I'm swatching for this shawl, right, and my mind keeps coming back to "but she's abusive why do you want to give her something so special", and it's that I want her to be impressed, I want her to give me the approval she never gave. And she never will. And it's not worth it.


Guess I'm going to start work on the Queen Susan Shawl for myself tomorrow.

And hang signs all over the apartment saying "YOU DON'T HAVE TO IMPRESS YOUR MOTHER". Until it sinks in.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
It hit me the other day that the concept of "you bought it, you own it" is completely imaginary. We made it up, we humans, as near as I can tell, for an excuse to squabble with one another and lord over one another why we think we're better, more deserving, more successful, whatever. It's pretty silly, a lot of the time; there are times when it's useful, but I'm not sure it isn't the fact of society's capitalism that makes it useful, such as: I paid for this car, I own it, I can use it to get to work, other people can't show up in the middle of the day and take it so that I can't get home. But if, you know, everybody owned everything--or nobody owned anything--there would be cars in the parking lot, and I could hop in one and get where I was going. It wouldn't matter which. And I could fill up at the gas tank when I saw it was getting low, and it would be fine.

What I'm saying, I guess, is that the material things we buy and sell, the shit we shuffle around and count and tally, it doesn't really matter. It's not what the concept of ownership should really be for.

There's only one thing ownership is really good for, to my mind, and that is: being able to give someone a gift.

Access to my body is a gift, whether it's the privilege to enjoy sexual pleasure with me, or the privilege to be born of me. I have to own my body, I have to own my uterus, for those gifts to be meaningful. If I can't choose not to give that gift, it isn't a gift, but can only be theft.

But in capitalism--and this is abstract as it's running through my head, and is just a connection I've made, and I have no proof of it--in capitalism, since I haven't paid for my body, I don't own it. A man owns it if he pays to rape me, or to watch me contort my naked body for his amusement; if I have a job, my boss owns the labor of my body from nine to five (or whatever shift). A man owns my body if he symbolically purchases me from my father in a ceremony known as a "wedding". Thereafter he owns my uterus and its contents, which is part of why President Obama said, when he was still Senator Obama, that I should consult my "family" (code for male owner; surely he didn't expect me to ask my hypothetical young children) before aborting an unwanted pregnancy.

My parents are widely held to own my uterus and its contents until I am married, this being the basis for parental consent and notification laws. Otherwise, the state owns my uterus and its contents, and can dictate what I may and may not do with them.

I am not one of those nutjobs who advocates not paying taxes and/or all that related crap; I use roads and hope the fire department will put out my burning apartment building, the same as the next person. There are things the government is empowered to do, things that are its responsibility, times that it can and should tell me what to do with parts of my body (such as, for instance, not using my finger to pull the trigger on a gun I'm pointing at someone else's head).

My uterus, however, is and ought to be none of the government's business. But if I decide to end a pregnancy, it had damn well better be on their terms. In fact, scratch that: there are no other terms available.

Meanwhile, if a white man pays a few thousand dollars for a piece of land shamelessly stolen from the ancestors of some of my friends, even though everybody knows it's stolen land, well, tough, he owns it. These same friends might live on a "reservation" (code for "the shitty land even the poorest white people didn't want") with no electricity and no running water, because the white men made sure a long time ago that they wouldn't be able to pay for it.

Patriarchal capitalism: a system wherein a white man owns whatever he can pay for, a woman doesn't own her own body, and NDNs don't own shit.


Jul. 5th, 2009 01:56 am
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
I've just been reading an article on Stumptuous about menstruation and exercise and there is, apparently, scientific evidence that pain perception increases during PMS. Now, they're talking about soreness etc. from exercise, but we can extrapolate that to all pain, right?

Okay. So here is the thing. I had already heard that the cocktail of hormones in a woman's bloodstream during PMS is the closest it will ever be to what men's hormones are like all the time.

And of course we all know men have a much lower pain threshold than women.

So I submit to you that men feel more pain because they don't have enough estrogen.

Estrogen makes you a badass. You heard it here first.


Oct. 17th, 2008 06:24 am
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
The real problem (the Wolf mused slowly) isn't poverty. It's wealth. Wealth causes some people to think they're better than other people, and oppress them in all sorts of new and interesting ways. If nobody is wealthy, if everybody has the same amount and the amount they have is just enough to get by, everybody helps each other, and everybody cares about each other, because they know they need each other.

I could be wrong. But I don't think I am.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Sometimes when I'm bored I read through old posts of Twisty's. Sometimes the comments provide me with the catalyst for lighbulb moments. Like this one.

So the second lightbulb moment to blind me with truth tonight is this: When dudes talk about how making sure the woman they want to fuck wants to fuck them kills the mood, what they mean is it kills their mood, because, like, it's just such a downer, having to acknowledge the concept that women don't just exist as their personal fuckholes. Think about this for a second: dudes think making sure of consent kills the mood, because the idea that some woman somewhere might possibly not want to fuck them makes their dicks wilt, and giving women a chance to decide is just too goddamn humiliating to contemplate. It's just soooo depressing to allow women agency and control over what happens to our own bodies. Not sexxay. Not sexxay at all.

Seriously, this is the actual argument often used against rape laws that require dudes to get consent instead of requiring women to revoke consent--that is, laws that define rape as a situation where the victim doesn't say "yes", as opposed to laws that define rape as a situation where the victim says "no".

Interestingly, the consequence of making sure of consent would be for these dudes' dicks to wilt once in a while, whereas the consequence of not making sure of consent is for millions of women to be raped.

And people claim we don't live in a patriarchy.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
I consider dudes who use pornography--especially those who pay for the privilege--rapists by proxy. (This does not, of course, preclude the probability that a significant percentage of them are rapists in fact as well.)

Anyone desiring to comment at me to explain why I am omg so wrong about this is advised to remember Rule #2 of this journal.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
The word "classy" is classist.

Put this one under lightbulb moments, because it was, but for the record it happened a long time ago.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
I have spent the past few months guiltily wondering if I really do, in fact, have enough ambition to be in Slytherin. This is because I had imagined that ambition only exists in relation to things like money and power. I was wrong. My Slytherin ambition takes the form of crazy costuming plans.

Since we're talking about historical costuming, many people might be tempted to say, but are you sure that doesn't actually put you in Ravenclaw? You know, because of all the study.

No. No, it does not, because if I were a Ravenclaw, I would be content merely to learn about the stuff, or maybe merely to make it just for myself and not tell anybody about it. The Slytherin side of me says, I will make this, and then I will broadcast to the world how cool I am for having done it.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
When feminists complain about some dude(s) doing some egregious thing to women, patriarchy-apologists always start in with "But how do you know the wimminz didn't like it? How dare you try to define their experience without asking them what they think?" This happened a bunch with the Open Source Boob Project but it's also happened in every damn discussion of consent I've ever had.

Here's the thing. It doesn't matter whether some specific woman enjoyed being objectified at some specific time. What matters is the dude's intentions--so that I don't actually care if some women enjoy having random dudes come up and grope their breasts, what I care about is why the fuck do dudes want to grope strangers' breasts. And if a woman says, but sometimes I enjoy having sex with my boyfriend without explicit consent, or sometimes I enjoy having sex with him after I'd originally said no and he pressured me into it, I don't care--that doesn't matter--what matters is the boyfriend's refusal to see a no as a no and his enjoyment of having sex without clear and enthusiastic consent.

Whether a woman is able to enjoy something after having been talked into it, both by a specific dude and by the patriarchy her whole goddamn life, has no bearing on the fact that the dude shouldn't be pulling that kind of bullshit in the first place.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
When James Potter hung Severus Snape upside down in thin air, causing his robes to fall down around his ears, and threatened to remove his greying underpants, that was not standard "harmless" bullying. That was attempted sexual assault, possibly even sexual assault full stop.


slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)

October 2012



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