slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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Friends I would confront. Friends of mine, there would be some point to confronting, if they were to say it at all. Which I can't imagine them doing.

Family--is its own ball of wax.

My mom and sister make racist and homophobic remarks all the time. I don't say anything because you can't tell them anything. I have spent twenty-seven years learning this. There is no point in saying anything to them about anything they have said or done because they simply are not hearing it.

These are people who are and have been abusive to me. Sometimes I think some of the offensive shit they say is on purpose to offend me just to bait me into confronting them so they can be abusive some more. It's not worth it.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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Once I was going through security at the airport and there was a $5 bill on the conveyor, all by its lonesome, just rolling along. I picked it up, turned to one of the guards, and announced, "Someone lost their $5!" I handed it to the stunned guard, and picked up my stuff and headed for my gate. It wasn't until after my plane took off that it even occurred to me that I could have kept it.

It wasn't mine. It belonged to someone else.

I have never found $100 anywhere. I can't say for certain that it would be the same. But I think it would. In the moment, it doesn't occur to me to take something that doesn't belong to me. Even if I could get away with it and no one would fault me. In the moment, I think, "Oh no, someone lost their money! Authority figure! Here is someone else's money that they lost!" After the fact I can rationalize to myself that the person is probably not going to come back for it, that no one will know it's not mine, that I could use the money, that even if the person does come back they will probably not be surprised to find that someone's taken it. But it doesn't belong to me, and I'm a basically honest person, and I just don't think of it at the time.

That security guard probably pocketed the $5. How the hell would you ever find someone in an international airport to give $5 back to? Why would you? The person was probably already gone, and any kind of announcement they made would have turned up tons of people who just wanted some money. There would be no way to find out whose it actually was.

And this is the thing: $5 is not $100. But I have been poor for a long time, and I could have used that money, and I gave it to the guard anyway. Because it wasn't mine. I just am not the kind of person who takes things that aren't mine.

This is the kind of thing that, when I tell people, convinces them I should have been in Hufflepuff.

But their trouble is they aren't thinking enough like Slytherins. Taking things that aren't mine would get me caught.

I would have taken it if I really needed it, though. This is what I told Nigel the other day on the phone, when he was complaining that borrowing money from my dad to pay our bills compromised his dignity: I said, shove your dignity up your ass. You're either surviving, or you're dead. It doesn't matter why.

Surviving and caught is better than dead.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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Younger of two. And I don't know that it has influenced my personality at all, really; even our family therapist assumed I was the older. I am the more responsible one of whom my parents always had the higher expectations, and my sister is the partier who always got away with murder. So.

ETA that when the "responsible one" is in fact the one with ADHD, you know the other sibling is really fucking flaky.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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I also believe we as a species are too stupid to understand much of it at all, especially some of the stuff we think we know for sure.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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You know how you daydream all the time in class, and you never remember where you put your homework or that you have to do it, and you can't tell how long five minutes is, and you always want to procrastinate everything? That's ADHD. Get diagnosed. It will save you a lot of trouble.

Study for the SATs.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is going to be an awesome show and you should watch it from the beginning. Likewise, Firefly. Likewise, Bones.

Go to class.

You are not an introvert. Do not listen to what Mom tells you. She doesn't know; she only sees you around Kate. Get away from Kate and you will see how good you are with people and how outgoing you really are.

Try out for solos.

You don't have a long torso. You have a short one. Your bra band size is not 32; it's 28. Find somewhere to get professionally fitted. You will not regret it. Learn to make your own clothes. You won't regret that, either.

Go to the gym. You don't hate physical activity; you just hate most team sports. Swim. Lift weights. You will love it. And it will keep your joint hypermobility in check. Physical therapy should not have stopped when you were seven.

For fuck's sake, take ballroom lessons. You have a gift.

Gyno exams are not as scary as you think. Go, and get on birth control. Yes, before you start having sex. You will thank me later when you don't have that pregnancy scare.

Don't ever let anyone tell you what to do unless you work for them or you specifically asked for their advice.

Take the job at Lakeside Title. Drop the art class. It will have been worth it for your resume to have had a full-time job making that kind of pay, and to have clerical experience. You can probably get them to offer you health insurance if you try.

Find somewhere to live, when you move out of Mom's house, where you can take Gixxer with you. Keep her and never let her go. She was always your dog at heart anyway.

Read Discworld.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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I'd probably call 911. I have no idea what to do with babies and no desire to.


slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)

October 2012



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