slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
So yeah, I haven't been using my computer much recently. My ass has been untangling yarn, winding it into neat balls, putting the balls in boxes and (zomg) labeling them with lists of their contents so I will actually (gasp!) know where the hell things are.

You guys, I have found so many sets of needles I had lost.

I think by Monday I will be done with the yarn portion of the craft closet and can get started on the fabric portion. Then I can go through the piles in the rest of the room, and those won't take nearly as long, maybe a day for each.

Meanwhile, I have done a little bit of shopping. Taking the time, on the days I have the car, to scour Goodwill has paid off with two dark knee-length skirts, one pair of black trousers, one pair of beige linen trousers, three sleeveless shells (black, red and turquoise), a green silk long-sleeved blouse and a black-and-camel tartan short-sleeved blouse. Still no sign of a decent-fitting black blazer. I will probably have to break down and make one myself, which will mean taking that tailoring book back out of the library. I also have to put some shaping into the green blouse and take the waists in on the skirts and trousers.

I also need to alter three or four button-downs that I have, remove the pleats from the charcoal wool trousers I have for my Hogwarts uniform, and find another white button-down that doesn't have that split V-neck thing going on that women's button-downs always seem to have, because you can't wear a tie with one of those things and my old Hogwarts uniform shirt has been donated. It was a medium. It is to laugh. Also I should suck it up, frog my mostly-completed Hogwarts jumper, and reknit it in a 42" chest. When I started it, 40" had some ease. It doesn't anymore.

And I need to find a half slip to wear with the unlined skirt. And probably also find a summery printed type of skirt and make a light-colored blazer I can wear with that and the linen trousers. And maybe take the pleats out of the front of the linen trousers because seriously, pleats do no one's gut any favors.

Also I need new hose. Whether they will be stockings or pantyhose I have not yet determined but I need new ones; the old ones are too little, except the fishnet stockings which are remarkably elastic. And if I do stockings then I need a beige garter belt. I have a little white one, but it is really too small and makes a strange dent in the sides of my hips.

Also: shoes. I almost spent $35 on a pair of taupe leather almond-toe mid-heel pumps at T.J. Maxx today. They were so classic and sophisticated. But I just cannot spend that much on a pair of shoes until I get a job. I do have a pair of low black pumps but the toes are slightly damaged and they really don't fit well enough to be worth repairing. They will work for interviews for the time being.

And I need to get four links taken out of my watch. Did I mention my wrists are still 5 1/2" around? Yeah.

Anyway, I am also trying to find a couple pairs of shorts, because the last time I bought a pair I was a size 10 so those are gone. And I should probably get a belt and a couple pieces of cheap jewellery.

Anyway, all of this stuff has to be put off until I have the craft stuff organized. There is no point in trying to figure out my sewing machine if I can't actually get to the chair to sit down at it. So tonight I will be in front of the TV some more, untangling and rewinding some more yarn.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Y'all, my dad gave me some cash for food until the food stamps came through, like, literally the day before the food stamps came through, and since my ass1 has expanded beyond the comfortable proportions of all my currently-owned pants, and I am a size 14-16 woman wearing a size 10 winter coat, I am taking the cash shopping.

I am currently planning The Route. Along The Route are stationed five or six consignment and thrift shops in town, through which I will make my circuitous way looking for The Coat and some pants, on the way to the street the mall is on, where I will also find TJ Maxx. TJ Maxx will hopefully have a coat in my size for cheap if I can't find one at the thrift/consignment shops. Then, if all else fails, there is Sears and JCPenney clearance. And if that fails me, I will stalk the eBay women's outerwear section for a while longer.

Why, you might ask, do I not just go buy a coat at Walmart? Well, because I'm picky. Among relevant aspects of my pickiness in this instance are my distaste for synthetic parkas and color-blocked windbreaker-looking winter coats and preference for something classic and mid-thigh-to-knee-length in at least a wool blend2, and my insistence that any coat I buy actually be long enough in the arms, which usually means tall sizes.

Tall sizes are a huge dilemma for me, y'all. I have these obnoxiously long arms and legs3, but I also have this obnoxiously short waist.4 But then I also have these obnoxiously enormous breasts. And so the combination of all this means that I wind up buying tall sizes in things like shirts and coats, and because of The Tits, the waist falls in the right place in the front, but about 4" lower in the back. I just have to suck it up until I become more proficient with my sewing machine and can make this stuff myself.

Tall sizes in pants are not nearly as problematic. The problem I have in pants is that they never have enough ass depth, including the Right Fit ones, and the back waist is always lower than the front waist. I have this problem with pants, too, if my UK and anglophile peeps follow me.

Wolfie has a bubble butt, or what may variously be known as "badonkadonk" and/or "I like big butts and I cannot lie" and/or "fat-bottomed girls, you make the rocking world go round".

Meanwhile, in each store, I am going to comb through the lingerie section and see if there are any cheap and/or clearance bras in my size. I ordered two from eBay, noticed the seller was in Hong Kong and shipping takes 12-30 business days, and have been waiting a week for a shipping notice; I need something now. I can't be waiting around. My band size has gone up to 32, and I can only stand to wear my 30s for about three hours before sharp, horrific pain blooms in a bright line around my underbust. Also they make that sort of little ridge of back fat, like a reverse muffin top, sticking out from the bottom edge of the band, which is considered unsightly under clothing and, while it shouldn't matter because that kind of thing is bullshit, will plant the subconscious idea in the heads of potential interviewers that I am not "put together" or whatever. Also also, the band tries to crawl down to a thinner part of my rib cage and takes support with it, so I am standing hunched over like my grandmother again.5

Bright side: this means I'm a 32DDD/E(UK)/F(US) instead of a 30F(UK)/G(US), and stores like Macy's actually carry a few bras in my size. Which means I can try bras on before I actually purchase them, maybe, and not have to pay return shipping when most of them don't fit.6

Meanwhile, also, I have to buy new makeup. I could not give less of a shit about makeup, y'all, and would be perfectly happy with the dusty little tubes and compacts in the old makeup box I bought in college, but when I did an Interview Makeup test run, my face broke out and my eyes were stinging for three days. Also the texture of it all was just bad news. That shit is A) expired, B) contaminated with badness and bacteria or C) both.

Which makes sense since the newest items were the ones I bought for my wedding a year and a half ago. And I couldn't actually find that stuff. Supposedly you're supposed to buy new makeup every 6 months or something? Yeah. Bad badness.

Anyway. I have about $200 to do all this. I need a winter coat, that's priority #1, because I can't be going around in one that's two sizes too small. I need one pair of jeans. I can wear the same pair all week and then wear the ones that don't fit while I'm doing the laundry, I'm all right with that, but if I could find two for cheap I would be really happy. If I see interview clothes on the clearance rack that look amazing on me and are under $15 per garment, I'll pick them up, but it's not a priority, because that's one of the things MRS7 can help me with once I get through their orientation process. And I need to get makeup, probably including stupid foundation, which is a pain in the ass to buy because the palest shade8 is always optimized for natural redheads, who tend to have warm undertones. Mine are cool. Maybe I will just skip it.

Oh, and I need to get a new purse. One that my stuff actually fits in without bulging out, and that has a shorter drop than the one I have so it will sit on the shelf of my hip without the straps falling off my shoulder. I can't carry a purse that hangs down alongside my hip, it's uncomfortable; I have a nice purse gap area between my arm and waist that works, but to have something against my hip I have to stick my elbow out funny and it just doesn't work.

Anyway, after that Nigel and I may be going to the movies, if we can find anything on that we're willing to see. Which is pretty doubtful. White America is all het up over Avatar right now and you know I'm not going to see that. Of course Sherlock Holmes is already gone, fuck you Carmike. I kind of want to see Daybreakers, but Nigel doesn't.

Anyway. Hopefully I will find all of the stuff I need. Probably I will find some of the stuff I need. If I can't find any of it I will be sad.

1. Well, really the discomfort is in the gut area when I sit down, but since Fashion Bug no longer carries the Right Fit jeans I like, any new pants I buy are going to be way too big in the waist anyway, and it is also true that I'm wearing pants for a 40.5" hip while having a 43.5" hip.
2. And I don't mean 90% poly 10% wool. That shit will not stand. I live in Michigan; I need something that will actually keep me warm.
3. Like everyone else in my mom's family. Although it may actually be due to my joint condition.
4. Apparently the rule of thumb is that average-waisted women can fit two hand-widths between the bottom of their tits and their natural waist. I can barely fit one hand-width, and I have tiny hands.
5. My paternal grandmother, the short Italian one with enormous breasts. Which is where I think I get my enormous breasts and short torso, especially the latter if my long limbs are joint-condition-related.
6. And most of them won't, because the current bra sizing system takes into account only ribcage circumference and breast volume, not breast depth or width or height, so I have to find not only the right size but a cut and style that fits.
7. Michigan Rehabilitation Services helps people with disabilities find appropriate employment.
8. Women at the other end of the shade spectrum have an even harder time, because I have seen the darkest shade of foundation most companies make and half the black women I know are darker than that. Dear makeup companies: clue. Get one.

A List

Jul. 27th, 2009 06:13 pm
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Purchased Today
- 1 package Dritz silk pins, 200
- 1 size Small flexible thimble, blue
- 1 small seam ripper,* blue
- 2 skeins DMC six-strand cotton embroidery floss, white
- 1 antique sewing machine cabinet, hardwood, good condition
- 1 antique Sterling DeLuxe Precision Manufactured Sewing Machine, attached, possibly working

I bought an antique sewing machine, which might actually work, in its original cabinet, at Goodwill, for $20. This is one of the heavy old black machines; from what I can find out online, it seems to have been made somewhere between 1910 and 1959. It is shiny and happy and someone has left it threaded (but kept the bobbin, from what I can see). Even if I can't get it working, it's still worth a lot more than $20, and looks nice in my sewing corner; and I can always shut the top of the cabinet and put my Brother on it.

The whole thing was well within my budget for a used desk or table to plop my machine on. I expected to end up with a folding card table. Instead I got this. Thank you, Goodwill, for never knowing what it is you've got. Thank you, someone in Battle Creek, for donating to Goodwill something worth (if eBay is any indication) approximately $300.

And thank you, Nigel, for figuring out how to get it in the car. If I had had to take it back inside and exchange it for my $20, I think I would have cried.

* This makes the third or fourth seam ripper I own. Possibly I might not lose this one.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
These are the coolest product ever ever ever. I am imagining a festive Xmas party with delicious pepperminty drinks AND CANDY CANE SHOT GLASSES. There can be no better way to get drunk! I am too poor to throw said awesome party, but if you are not, please, please do it so I can live vicariously through you. And! There are also mint chocolate ones! Made of win!

Awesome.

Nov. 20th, 2008 01:08 am
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Check out the vintage wool coat I just bought. I can't wait until it gets here. I really need a new winter coat; the one I have, I bought something like six years and thirty-five pounds ago, so it doesn't really fit anymore. And since this one is below knee-length, it will be extra warm and cozy. Also: $33!
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Why can't I find a plain white cotton terry bathrobe? Why are they all polyester, acrylic, fleece, nonabsorbent artificial fibers? Or if you can find a cotton one, it's some strange color with an ugly print or stupid embroidered picture on it? I just want something plain and white that I can wrap up in after a bath or shower while my hair is in the bath sheet*, that I can wash periodically and bleach so I know it's not full of germs. Why can't I find this? When I got married I wanted to register for the monogrammed kind but nobody had them!

If you know where I can get a plain white cotton terry bathrobe--that's not some five squillion thread count Egyptian pima cotton $150 thing--please, please tell me.

In other news I have purchased a pair of steel-toed pole climbing boots. They're basically a knee-high lace-up black leather boot with a steel toe and some interesting reinforcement stitching. They are super badass and I can't wait until they arrive.

* Those of you who know me in person or have seen pictures may already realize this, but I can't wrap my hair in a regular-sized towel or half of it will be hanging out the end and dripping everywhere. Some companies' bath sheets are even too small; they have to be at least 36" wide and even that is a little short with the wrinkling that happens at the base of my neck. Factor in how much bath sheets cost and you will see why I only own three towels that I can use on my hair.

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