LOL FOREVER

Dec. 2nd, 2009 10:50 pm
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Okay, so, my sister is on Facebook now. I discovered this yesterday when she friended me.

Crisis averted: I set her permissions so that she will still know basically nothing about my day to day life or my presence on the internets.

However. Today I went and uploaded a bunch of pictures from the past, um, four years, including the time a bunch of my friends and I went to see the midnight showing of GoF, and I wore my crappy half-assed thrown-together Slytherin partial uniform.

My sister describes herself as "disgruntled" that I am in Slytherin. She is a Gryffindor (uh duh), and professes to dislike Slytherins (uh duh).

This is unsurprising. Of course she is a Gryffindor: like Gryffindors, she does stupid things in the guise of bravery, and thinks everyone else is (and should be) just like her. Of course she dislikes Slytherins: she is far too shallow to read the books on any level other than a superficial one, and she takes Harry's word for everything.

I have been in Slytherin far longer than she has even been interested in the books. I still remember telling her she should give the movies a shot and her saying there was no point because they were obviously stupid.

Then, apparently, she watched CoS on TV one afternoon, and the rest was history.

We are Potterfandom of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

But so I told her: I don't know what to tell you, I'm in Slytherin. I'm sneaky. I want what I want and will not settle for less. I would have been in Ravenclaw, except I'm only willing to study when I find it useful or it amuses me. I would have been in Hufflepuff, except I'm not friendly for the sake of being friendly but because you can never have too many allies on side. I would have been in Gryffindor, except I stand up for the helpless (someone has to speak for them as has no voices) not because it's the "right" thing to do but because one of my ambitions is to make the world a better place.

I look at it like this.

Gryffindor's greatest strength is their unwillingness to back down in the face of danger.

Hufflepuff's greatest strength is their tendency to band together and work their asses off for something they care about.

Ravenclaw's greatest strength is their propensity to research the hell out of every problem and find the most effective solution.

Slytherin's greatest strength is our ability to determine when to use the tactics of each of the other three houses, and when not to. There are times when you need to back down so you can live to fight another day. There are times when hard work will get you nowhere and is just a waste of energy. And there are times when the solution to your problem cannot be found in any book. That's when you need a Slytherin on your side to creatively manipulate the truth, spin the PR, employ Headology on the enemy, kill them with kindness or, if all else fails, cheat like hell.

Whatever works. That's what it comes down to. That's what Slytherin means. Does it work? No? Waste of time.

Heh

Nov. 5th, 2009 01:44 pm
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Last night I dreamt my sister had got hold of my uncut muslin and was chopping it up into little pieces to make some kind of Christmas-related things to put on her dining table or something for when she was going to have people over. I was shouting and waving my arms but it was too late to stop her and I was going to be unable to make what I had planned to make out of it.

I don't know what that is yet. I have half-decided to take the embroidery book out of the library again and make some smocked nightgowns, but I'm not sure. The practical thing to do would be to save it for the toiles I'll be making after [livejournal.com profile] aprilmayinjune comes and wraps me in duct tape.

Argh

Aug. 27th, 2009 12:53 pm
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Mentioned to my mom that I can't buy new bras or underwear until Nigel finishes his training period and starts getting his full per-mile pay, sometime in the middle of October. She told my sister to buy me bras and underwear for my birthday. My sister wants to send me a Victoria's Secret gift card and I don't know how to dissuade her.

They don't make bras in my size, number one. Number two, I don't like the underwear they make. But you can't say these things to my sister--you can't just tell her, "I'm happy with granny panties from Walmart," because she doesn't believe you. I know. I've tried.

Also, I hate giving Victoria's Secret business because they perpetuate a lot of myths about bra sizing; they want you to measure your band size around your pecs, above your breasts. There's a lot of extra tissue up there that never sees a bra band. If I measure that way, I wind up in a 32 band, which doesn't provide any support. And then they do this thing where if you go into the store and they try to fit you and they don't carry your size? They try to sell you a sister cup size, like for instance say their method puts me in a 32DDD, and they don't carry that (I think they may actually carry it in one or two styles, but for the sake of argument), so they try to sell me a 34DD or a 36D. And that doesn't do anyone any good. Vicky's Secret is causing a lot of women a lot of discomfort and even pain and I would never disparage another woman's choice to get a reduction because it's your body and you do what you think is best, but I think their fitting methods lead to a lot of unnecessary reductions in women who could have just got a properly fitting bra and been fine but don't know it.

Sigh. I wish I had the kind of relationship with my family where I could ask for what I really want for my birthday, which is a bolt or two of muslin to get to work on my patterns so that when I do get bras that fit I can also make clothing that fits properly to wear over them.
slythwolf: (BULLSHIT)
I keep forgetting to post about this bullshit.

When I was a kid, my mom had a Singer sewing machine. She taught my sister and me to sew on it and it remains to this day the only machine I can successfully use. It was from, like, the 1960s, and had three or four stitches, and was very basic, but I knew how to thread it and how hard to push down on the pedal and I could usually make it work out okay for whatever it was I needed to do. It had a table, a nice antique sewing machine table with--okay--kind of sticky drawers, some of which locked? Or something? But it was a nice table, a happy table, a table, I mean to say, with whom I got along. I knew the trick to unstick the drawers and all of that kind of thing, it was of the good.

When my mother moved to Florida, she did not take her sewing machine or its table with her. It was bulky stuff, she didn't feel she was going to be doing a lot of sewing and indeed she is not; she is much more with the painting (on shells and giant palm seed pods and whatnot) and selling objets d'art to random tourists. But she did not bring along her sewing machine or its table, is my point.

Did she give them to me, her loving daughter, who plans to sew for a living, who already sews recreationally a large amount of the time?

Of course not.

She gave them to my sister, who does not sew.

Now, the two of them and also [livejournal.com profile] aprilmayinjune did club together to buy me a brand new sewing machine as a wedding present, for which I am not ungrateful. I'm sure it is a very nice machine and will serve me very well when I can figure out how the hell to set it up but I have no table to put it on. So here I am wandering the landscape hoping to find, you know, whatever, even a folding card table at the Goodwill, which is not going to be as useful, obviously, as an actual sewing machine table with the little cubby for the machine so that I can be sliding my fabric along a flat surface while sewing, but at least would not be the floor.

And my sister has the tough old Singer (which as I may have mentioned--did I mention this?--she does not use) and the antique table sitting in her attic.

This is some bullshit right here.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] bloodchan, I forgot to tell you, but a couple of weeks ago when I was on the phone with my sister she was asking me who-all the bridesmaids were and I mentioned you and asked if she remembered you, and she thought you had been my girlfriend.

Lawls.

I never came out to her; I wonder if she just guessed or if my mom told her.

...

May. 3rd, 2008 04:15 am
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
My sister called me tonight (I consider it still Friday, since I haven't gone to bed yet) from TJ Maxx to ask me if I wanted her to pick up any bras for me, if she found them in my size, since they were three and four dollars a piece. "Here are some Es over here," she said. I asked her what band sizes they were coming in. "38, 40, 42..."

Sigh.
slythwolf: (BULLSHIT)
Imagine my surprise this afternoon when my sister called me up to ask this very question.

"30E," I said.

"Thirty...E."

"Yeah. Or, well, you know, it depends on the brand--whatever's two cups up from D, some brands call it a DDD, some brands call it an F."

"Who measured you?"

"...I did. I've spent the past six months figuring out what size bra I wear and finding ones that fit."

"Uh-huh."

"So you...don't believe me."

"Well no, I don't, considering the last time I saw you you looked like about an A-cup."

Friends, I was wearing a size 30E bra the last time she saw me.

"I would be, if I was wearing an enormous band size, but then my band would be up around my shoulder blades. It's really equivalent to about a 36C or so."

"The band size is the size around your body."

"Well yeah, but the cups themselves change in size with the band, so a 30E isn't the same as say a 34E."

"You can't...even buy an E-cup in a store. You have to special order them."

"I know, that's what I've been doing. Hey, why do you need to know my bra size anyway?"

"I was going to see if you wanted any of my old bras, I won't need them anymore."

"Well I just bought a bunch of bras, I'm all set."

"...okay, I'll see if Mom wants them."

In case any of you missed the blatantly obvious subtext, she doesn't need her old bras anymore because she has just (I would assume, it being near the end of the month) had a boob job, and she thinks for some reason that I want her 34As.

Now, I do not give a rat's ass how big someone's fucking tits are, okay, my body is fine the way it is no matter what way that happens to be. But she does care, and as Nigel pointed out she is much like the dude on that stupid Bowflex(?) commercial who says, "I gave my fat clothes to my fat friends!" I, the poor unfortunate Big Little Sister (so named because I'm four inches taller and three years younger than she), should be grateful to receive her cast-off underclothes because clearly I am totally flat-chested.

I've told her repeatedly I've gained 30 pounds in the last year. Does she truly imagine it all went to my ass? Even before I gained the weight, I haven't been in an A since fucking middle school.
slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
Parts of this post will be crossposted to [livejournal.com profile] weddingplans on LJ.

I take back everything I ever said about her. If she's in an abusive, controlling relationship it's her doing the controlling. I told her my fiancé isn't inviting his parents to our wedding because his dad's abusive and he's cutting off contact with him, and this is the email I get in return:

I am confused - you are having a wedding (which is where two families come together to congratulate and give away thier sons and daughters to a new life) but [his] family is not going to be in attendance?  Why not say screw the hassles of a wedding since it wont be anyone but just our family and elope.  Would be cheaper and save your familiy members who have to fork out and arm and a leg to attend the money for a single sided wedding.  You could still have a nice reception but wouldnt have to spend the extra cash on invitations, a dress, tuxedos, bridal gifts,etc.......
I scheduled my fitting for my dress.  Please let me know what you plan to do so I dont make a purchase and then find out there is not going to be a wedding and I cant return the dress.


Why in the hell would we not be able to have the kind of wedding we want just because he doesn't want to see his family anymore? Y'all, she has been making every excuse to tell me we shouldn't plan this thing the way we want--you have to have alcohol, no it's stupid to have a sit-down dinner, why not just have the reception at the bar in your blue jeans--from the moment I told her I was engaged. Some of you may in fact remember that when I told her I was engaged she asked, "Why?" This is a woman who had just got married herself two weeks before.

She implies that our wedding is not a valid or worthwhile celebration because he in effect no longer has a family. She explicitly states that no one but our family members will be there--I think she imagines us inviting 40 people or something; there are 158 people on my guest list and more than half of them are friends. She implies that you don't have to send out invitations to "just" a reception (which is absolute bullshit, how would people know to come). She thinks I don't deserve a wedding dress.

I swear to you, I am now completely convinced her husband is not the one causing her eating disorder and making her get a boob job. This is what I think it is: I have always been skinnier than she--in high school I was four inches shorter and ten pounds lighter--and last fall she learned I had sprouted enormous boobs, so she decided she had to be both skinnier and more buxom than I at my wedding because how else could she look better than me. She has always been "the pretty one". She has maintained this title mostly by sabotaging my efforts to feel good about myself from the time I was five years old. She was the pretty one, she was the one who was good at music, now we're grown and it turns out I'm taller and hourglass-shaped and have a more proportionate face and a better ear and she just can't take it because--get this--I'm younger, too. Of course this is all the patriarchy's fault. She wouldn't have these reasons to be spiteful to me if it weren't for the patriarchy. But you know, a lot of other people have similar possible reasons and don't treat me like shit. She's the one making the choice that I'm her enemy.

Anyway, this is the response I sent her:

I'm sorry you can't support [his] decision. We plan to have our wedding the way we want; if you would rather not spend the money to attend I understand.

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slythwolf: Some unlucky soul has an incomplete Pai Sho set. (Default)
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